I lost myself somewhere in all of this research, becoming debilitated and confused - unable to write coherently due to the pressure I put on myself and the sea of information in my head. This has of course had adverse effects with me slowly slipping further and further behind while I try my hardest to fight my way through it all. I admit I have been trying to do too much as I cannot include it all in my dissertation, however the feats I have made in an attempt to direct my research project have been huge. The below info doesn't do all my work justice in the slightest or even cover half of what I have been doing, however this brief unloading should hopefully make me feel a little lighter, more positive and help me to reflect.
Note: Instead of it all just sitting on my computer with no one aware of the mammoth task I have undertaken, this is in a way a post for myself - to highlight the achievements I have made and appreciate the amount of hours I have dedicated to this module.
Books
Having stuck to my initial reading list I made at the beginning of this semester, this stack of books has been a lifeline and I have been dipping in and out of them continuously. (I ran out of sticky notes a long time ago and yes I have read nearly all of these back to back this semester.)
My life...
Bookmarks
As I attempt to write my dissertation - my bookmarks list is where I live. I had a list of relevant sources and information for this project that was so long I could no longer add to it, therefore in an effort to get my head around all of this information - I had to sort it and I did this by making folders relevant to the points/sections I wanted to cover in my essay. These folders contain everything from case studies, scientific reports, journals, books, websites, blogs - you name it its there.
... There are another 18 bookmark folders...but I think you get the gist and Im tired of screen-shots.
Written Documents
From all of this information, I have been continuously writing - and I mean I have been non stop. I may be struggling to find a way to write concisely and include all of the information I would like, however the following documents cover the work I have put in so far, by way of notes, structure, literature searches, quote collating and important information I want to include. In total - my own writing across these documents cover over 33,000 words...(and this isn't including my many dissertation draft attempts and preliminary work and documents I have already uploaded in previous blog posts)...making it an actual total of nearly 50,000 words...I needed to write that - as it is RIDICULOUS!
I have put all of these documents into one...if ever you have a spare year on your hands - feel free to have a peruse through the 97 pages :)
Final thoughts
I need to remember that this project means something to me. My subject matter is something that I am really interested in and i have learnt so much from all of this therefore I need to understand that it hasn't all been a waste of time. I am proud of myself despite not being where i want to be with it all. It is a really difficult topic and I had to go through all of this as it is the only way I know how. The background knowledge I have gained and my attempts at structuring my essay, as well as the sections and quotes etc - is all helping me do this, no matter how slow writing my final dissertation may be.