I found the feedback I received from my peers really helpful as I have found coming up with a question for this module quite difficult. Taking the feedback into consideration, I want to edit my discourse analysis in the following ways:
- Remove the first paragraph. I agree with the feedback in that it is a little personal, formal and unnecessary when it comes to the analysis of the artwork.
- The explanation and interpretation of the piece is written in one paragraph and this could be split into two as it talks about so many things.
- When reading back through my writing, I can see that i have repeated the same idea a few times. I want to try and remove this repetition and include some of the points touched on in the second lot of feedback i received:
- Why has an iPhone been used (recognisable items of technology used throughout
the series of work by the illustrator)?
- Is the illustrator having a go at society? Is he challenging it and our
dependancy/relationships we make with these inanimate objects?
- Could we live without technology?
- Are we too comfortable/dependant?